


Tranquil

by cagedlycoris



Series: Inktober 2018 Prompts [2]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 12:47:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16347011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cagedlycoris/pseuds/cagedlycoris
Summary: Day 2 of Inktober prompt: TranquilAlan overdoses on his sleeping meds and he comes face to face with the disease that he's lived with for several years.





	Tranquil

**Author's Note:**

> This series is going to take forever for me to finish but I finally dished out the second theme of Inktober. Writing for me is hard but here's some mild Slignphries for this prompt.

It started by accident but Alan never intended it to get this bad. He never intended on becoming dependent. He never intended on going to another doctor to get more when he ran out. But they made him feel calm. They made him feel at peace. They made him feel happy for once. That was the only reason.

  
  


Alan stood in the bathroom, hunching over the sink. He turned the water on and he let it run for a few second so the temperature became a shearing cold. He filled a cup and set it to the side. He opened the cabinet mirror above. Inside there were several orange pill bottles. Some for depression and anxiety, some for extreme pain, some for sleep, and some he had forgotten what for.

 

A couple years back, Alan was diagnosed with a very rare case of lung cancer. Every doctor he visited, no matter how experienced or how long they have been in practice, could never figure out the cause. Alan dubbed it “The Thorns of Death” because how it felt and the fact that there was no known cure. Every so often Alan would feel as if there was barbed wire coiling around his lungs and squeezing them like a python to its prey. It was a horrifying experience. Every time it would happen it felt more painful than the last time. 

 

Ever since being diagnosed, Alan had developed severe depression and anxiety. He had made several attempts at his life but never had the courage to take more than he had in the past.

 

Alan took one of the pill bottles labeled “Xanax”. The time on Alan’s watch read seven o’clock, just about time to take his sleeping meds. He sighed as he pressed down on the white cap and twisted it, two tablets were taken out at first. Then, one more. Then, another, and another. He took a breath before throwing the five tablets in his mouth and downing them with the glass of water.

 

He took a moment of silence before opening the door and going back out to the living room.

 

“Everything okay, Al?” A voice asked as the brunett walked out of the bathroom. A head turned to look at Alan. It was Eric; Alan’s roommate and best friend.

 

Alan gave a smile towards the blond, “Yeah, I just had to go take my meds is all.” He sat on the couch where he was earlier. On the table, in front of the couch, sat two bowls of pasta. They were in the midst of dinner and a movie to wind down on a Friday night. This habit became a small tradition, going back to their college days.

 

“Ah, alright.” Eric replied, “You feeling okay? You looked a little pale before you left.”

 

Alan gave a masked smile, “You worry too much, Eric. I’m okay, no need to worry.” He slurred the last sentence together and it caused Eric to raise an eyebrow in concern.

 

“You sure, Al?” Eric asked once again.

 

The other nodded, “I’m sure. Just stress from work is all. Long day at the office, you know?” Alan lied. 

 

Still a little skeptical about Alan’s answer, Eric leaned back into the couch and stretched, “If you say so, Al. But you know you can tell me anything. I’ve known you too long to ignore when you aren’t feeling the best.”

 

It was ironic really. Alan had been diagnosed and living with “The Thorns of Death” for years, a disease that was slowly killing and suffocating him with every breath, and yet Alan failed to tell the most important person in his life that he was slowly dying. Alan almost laughed at how well he was able to hide it. It was something so serious yet so well hidden under the radar. It fucking sucked. 

 

Alan twiddled with his thumbs before responding, “I have been feeling under the weather for a while due to stress.” There was a moment of silence. It wasn’t a complete lie but Alan felt as though Eric could see right through him. He quickly changed the subject, “But isn’t what these days are for?” Alan moved closer to Eric, “Just a way to relax and wind down from the week?”

 

Eric leaned forward, looking at Alan, “Yeah, you’re right. So, what movie do you want to watch tonight? Oh! Weren’t we meaning to watch the one with Hugh Jackman that came out last year? The one Ronald and Grell were talking about a couple weeks back?”

 

“You mean ‘The Greatest Showman’? Yeah, that sounded interesting. Ronald was the one that went on and on about it when it came out.” Alan laughed, remembering how excited Ronald the week after he saw it. The junior didn’t stop talking about it for days.

 

“You want to watch that and see what that boy was fussing at so much?” Eric joked.

 

“Let’s do it,” Alan agreed as he handed Eric his bowl and moved closer to the blond to get comfortable for the movie.

  
  


The movie was almost over by the time Alan had felt the effects of his meds. Over time he began build up tolerance to the drug, so it took longer before Alan could feel the effects. 

 

He could feel his mind start to slowly drift into a sedative state. He wasn’t even paying attention to the movie anymore. The pictures on the television all morphed into one blurry light, and the movie’s soundtrack turned to white noise in Alan’s ears. That was always how he could tell he was about to sink into his subconscious. 

 

Empty bowls sat on the table and somehow the two of them ended up hugging on each other, Alan laying in Eric’s lap, by the end of the movie. He soon felt fingers through his hair, a few strains falling in front of his half lidded eyes. Next, he felt a soft kiss placed on the top of his head.

 

“Hey, Al, you awake?” Alan could barely hear Eric whispering to him. At this point Alan was staring blankly at black screen of the television. Alan nuzzled into Eric’s neck as an answer. He clearly didn’t want to move out of comfort.

 

“You know,” an unfamiliar voice whispered into Alan’s ear, “it’s a shame that he doesn’t know. Afterall, he is your partner.” Then it faded into the air. Alan’s eyes snapped open then jolted into the upright position.

 

“Al?” Eric asked, startled at the sudden change.

 

Alan was frantically looking around, “Did you hear something, Eric?”

 

Eric raised his eyebrow in confusion, “Hear what Al?”

 

“I-I don’t know… Just a voice. A-A female voice?”

 

Eric cautiously laid his hand on Alan’s shoulder, “Oi, Alan, look at me. There’s no one here but us.”

 

That’s when Alan saw her. She stood off to the side. Her posture was elegant and when she moved closer it seems as though she was dancing. Her skin was pale but smooth, as if free from any imperfections. She wore a form fitting black dress that stopped at the knees. Her brown hair was tied in a bun and a laced veil was placed over her face. The only thing Alan could make out behind the fabric were faint red glimmer of her eyes.

 

She has an ominous aura to her but at the same time it was gentle and calm. It felt as though time had stopped and everything faded to black when she was present.

 

“Hello, Alan. It’s good to see you again,” She spoke softly. She moved around the room and with the gap that Alan made between him and Eric, she sat right in front of him.

 

“Again?” Alan repeated, “Who are you?”

 

The woman sighed in disappointment, “We’ve met several times Alan, and yet you never remember me.” She said as she put a hand to Alan’s cheek. Immediately, Alan moved farther back from her.

 

Even though Alan could not see her face completely, the faint glow of her eyes emulated sadness. She moved closer again. This time Alan didn’t move away.

 

“I guess a reintroduction is in order,” she spoke, “I don’t exactly have a proper name to anyone but you. You gave me the name… Thorns of Death.”

 

Once the name was spoken, Alan’s heart began to race, “What? You’re Thorns of Death? But how can that be?”

 

She shrugged, “I’m sorry, Al, but I don’t know exactly either.” She put her hand on Alan’s knee in comfort.

 

Alan pulled away, “Don’t call me that… Please.” Alan requested quietly, “Only Eric gets calls me ‘Al’.”

 

“As you wish,” she soothed, pulling her hand back. Neither of them spoke. They sat in a comfortable silence.

 

Alan was still trying to grasp the situation. All the woman did was sit patiently for him.

 

“Would you care to dance with me?” She asked in comforting tone. Suddenly, a soft melody began to play in the background, “I know how much you like to dance.” She stood up offering her hand to him. Without thinking Alan took her hand and she swiftly pulled him to his feet.

 

She took his left hand in her right, and placed her right hand on his shoulder as Alan placed his right hand on her hip. Without warning the woman began to move slowly. Alan unconsciously followed her lead.

 

The music was nice. It was a calm song with no lyrics. Even though Alan didn’t know the melody but his body seemed to know every beat. The two of them moved swiftly through the space. Neither of them spoke a word to another. They just stared into each other’s eyes. It was almost as if them dancing together was their way of communicating. Why? Was this so relaxing? Why did this feel so comfortable? So familiar?

 

The music soon came to a conclusion and it was only then Alan realized how close the woman’s lips were to his. “Stop!” He yelled, shoving her away. She stumbled back trying to regain her balance. Alan was breathing heavily, trying to understand what was happening.

 

“I-I’m sorry…” Alan apologized. He looked up at her. He was expecting a look of rage from the other, but instead behind the veil he saw a gentle smile.

 

“It’s okay Alan. I understand that you don’t want to go just yet,” She spoke, lowering her head. “This time I thought you finally made the decision.”

 

“Decision?” Alan enunciated each syllable slowly.

 

“To not fight back anymore,” she answered. “By the way you danced with me today it seemed you were ready. But I guess I miss read you.” Alan tried to open his mouth to speak but she put a hand up to stop him.

 

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” she reassured as she moved closer back to Alan, “I understand that you still want to fight. Everyone does. It’s only natural.”

 

Alan took a couple of minutes to respond, “I just… Want to be with Eric more. I want to see him every day. I want to be able to see William, Grell, Ronald, and all my other friends for as long as I can,” A few tears rolled down his face.

 

She wiped the tears from his face, “It’s okay, Alan. You don’t need to justify yourself.” She ran her thumb over his cheek. “It’s time for me to go. And I think you should be getting back to Eric. He’s waiting for you to come back to him.” She moved back, “This means goodbye for now, Alan.”

 

She turned away and began to walk. After taking a few steps, she turned back to Alan, “As for what I said before, about him not knowing… I think it’s time you tell him.” And with that she began to walk again before fading away.

 

Alan was left standing. He didn’t know what to think of this anymore. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, taking in the silence. When he opened his eyes, he saw a white ceiling and in his ears he heard the sound of a heart monitor.

 


End file.
